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England Travel Tips 
Discover the Real England   



  By Mike Valeriani
Regions: N West N East Yorkshire W Midlands E Midlands East S West S East

Mental Differences

Police Vehicles

There are a number of undefined mental differences as you travel around the world. In Italy there is a problem: there are countless police force bodies: Carabinieri, Polizia, Vigili Urbani, Finanza, etc. (talk about crazy people). In England they have a different problem: only one police body, but it looks as if there were a million, as their vehicles all look different.

So far I’ve seen them white, red, grey and very colourful; all of them carrying around an incredible variety of stickers of all shapes, sizes and colours. At first glance they seem to be very confused about their identity and look. I haven’t investigated this issue, so I cannot tell you the reason why police cars are so very different throughout the country.

 English blue police car

English red police car 

 english gray police car

English white police car 

 english land rover police car  English gray and orange police car

 English gray police car

English striped police car 

english yellow smart police car 

english gray smart police car 

 English white police van  english white police car yellow stripe
 white english police car  English white with red stripes police car


The Buttons

Some crazy people in England are paranoid about making things so “perfect” and “logic” so that they will be easily understood by everyone around the world. All buses have emergency control buttons on top of each door. Most countries only offer one button to open the door in case of an emergency, but here in England there are two buttons: one to open the door and the other one to close the door... in case of an emergency I suppose. I just cannot imagine what emergency could spring a passenger to close the door of a bus, considering that buses are physically unable to move off with their doors open.

London bus door control buttonsThe best is to come yet: one of the two buttons is red and the other one is green. Which do you think will open the door? The green one right? Wrong... this is England, so it’s the red one. The green button closes the door. There is more still: in most parts of the world the bus driver’s controls to operate the doors include one button for each door; you press it once to open the door and once again to close it. Here each door has two or even three buttons: two red and one green.

The first red one opens the door; the second red one opens half of the door, just in case the bus driver wants to make it harder for large people to get on the bus and then the green one “obviously” closes the door.


Images of Mental Differences

I’ve included some photographs of what people would define as the result of some crazy people thinking.


Road name signs in London.




The road sign photograph on the right says: “Selwood Terrace this side and Neville Terrace the other side”.

Basically one road has two different names, one for each side. I have never seen this anywhere else in the world... must admit that it's a very strange thing to give two different names to the same road.



 Shop decoration in front of a window






I am not sure what came first, if the window or the shop decoration. Whoever came second, definitely had an attitude problem.




 English milestone indicating directions.






What a peculiar way of indicating two different directions...




Elgin Crescent and Ladbroke Grove in London.





This photograph shows the road name (Ladbroke Road) and a smaller sign next to the black door that says big and clear: “50 Elgin Crescent”. They are clearly not happy to be on that road and they rather take the name of the road around the corner in their unique way.




English train inside.






The inside of this train shows the peculiar personality of whoever decided to place a seat in front of a door, making it uncomfortable to say the least going through.




Train sign placed by crazy people.






I love this sign, which was places inside the train and on top of the door, facing people who are leaving the train and it says: “Warning: do not attempt to enter the train when the doors are closing”.



 Black house in England.




Not only this house ends very abruptly; not only there are no windows in the side, but the unlucky owner decided to paint it pitch black!




Road sign for One Hyde Park Project




What does this sign actually mean? Is it telling you that to access One Hyde Park Project you have to turn left, or that if you turn left there is no access to One Hyde Park Project? I don’t have the answer I’m afraid.






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